Because I thought I had a normal childhood, it never occurred to me that there were these big holes in my skill set and knowledge base. I assumed my parents taught me all the things everybody else’s parents taught them.
Now, at this late date, I realize that many people were actually taught either directly or by example how to judge — or at least guess — whether someone is trustworthy or not. Loyal or not. Truthful or not. Friendly. Positive. Empathetic. Afraid. Angry. Dangerous. Generous. Careful. Courageous.
Some people were given hints about finding a purpose in life, or just knowing the difference between something that is worth doing and something that is a waste of time. Some people had help figuring out what they were good at — and what things they should put aside because of a lack of native ability. Some people’s families helped them figure out what is important in life, and what is important to them, as fully functioning people. Those things would have been helpful before I went off to college. Or got married. –just sometime before I was allowed behind the wheel of a car, or allowed to vote would have been nice.
It took me until I was nearly 30 before I began to realize I had to figure out what I believed and why; what Iwanted and why; what kind of a person I wanted to be and why; what I value in other people and why, and what is valuable about me and why. And here Iam, all these years later — just realizing all the basic stuff nobody bothered to tell me about life. And that there is a name for this. And it’s a horrible name.
But however terrible neglect is, discovering for myself that I am both a melliorist, and nomic cancels it all.
Iam a uniquely flexible, self-amending system that believes she can change the world.